Monday, January 24, 2011
Clearblue, EASY?
This whole process is anything but easy! With all the ups and downs of thinking we are going to have a baby, to disappointment, and everything in between, I think this waiting process is one of the hardest parts. I have driven myself crazy thinking any symptom could be a sign (but unfortunately most signs of pregnancy can also be a sign that you are about to start your period). Admittedly, I have taken a couple of home pregnancy tests but you can not trust the results when you have done fertility treatments. So we are waiting a few more days for the beta blood test to find out the real results. I am somewhat of a traditionalist, so I am not going to be blogging for a while. I will be journaling along the way so I can still post every part of the process (just at a later date) but I am battling at letting the world know we are pregnant so soon. But for now...so long...I will be back soon!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
TransferrING
We did the embryo transfer! I don't think you can really prepare for this experience but in the grand scheme of things maybe it is good not to really know what to expect. I definately have no modisty at this point (after having complete stangers seeing you naked and peeing in a bed pan infront of my mother)!
Paul had to work the day of the appointment so my mom took me to the IVF clinic. I am sad that he was not there for the experience but I am grateful that my mom was there for the whole process. I felt pretty good going in that morning and took a Valium about an hour before the procedure as well as making sure I had a full bladder. The doctor came in and talked to us and told us everything to expect and gave us a picture of the two blastocysts that he was going to implant. The doctor implants them with a catheter guided by an ultrasound, so we got to see everything! They brought in the blastocysts in an incubator and my mom got to see them through a microscope. They do one test with the catheter before they actually insert them. Once they put the catheter into the uterus you can see the blastocysts come out of the catheter. It is amazing. Now we have pictures of the actual beginning, way before most couples (we have to look to the bright side since everything else is easier for those not havign to go through IF...not to be bitter or anything). So now we are just waiting. I will go in for a blood test to see if they have taken and survived. It will be the longest ten days of my life!
I think we are transferring our thoughts from this being a dream to thinking this could actually be real. We don't want to give our hopes up, but it is hard not to have names running through our heads and think about how we want to decorate the nursery. Not that I haven't thought of all of that before, but it seems like that reality is closer than ever. I hope that this is the key step to transferring our dreams to reality!
Paul had to work the day of the appointment so my mom took me to the IVF clinic. I am sad that he was not there for the experience but I am grateful that my mom was there for the whole process. I felt pretty good going in that morning and took a Valium about an hour before the procedure as well as making sure I had a full bladder. The doctor came in and talked to us and told us everything to expect and gave us a picture of the two blastocysts that he was going to implant. The doctor implants them with a catheter guided by an ultrasound, so we got to see everything! They brought in the blastocysts in an incubator and my mom got to see them through a microscope. They do one test with the catheter before they actually insert them. Once they put the catheter into the uterus you can see the blastocysts come out of the catheter. It is amazing. Now we have pictures of the actual beginning, way before most couples (we have to look to the bright side since everything else is easier for those not havign to go through IF...not to be bitter or anything). So now we are just waiting. I will go in for a blood test to see if they have taken and survived. It will be the longest ten days of my life!
I think we are transferring our thoughts from this being a dream to thinking this could actually be real. We don't want to give our hopes up, but it is hard not to have names running through our heads and think about how we want to decorate the nursery. Not that I haven't thought of all of that before, but it seems like that reality is closer than ever. I hope that this is the key step to transferring our dreams to reality!
It is the tiny little white dot in the middle of my uterus. The white line is the catheter.
Blastocyst is the cell mass that turn into embryos...basically they are "pre-embryos".
These are the two they transferred.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Over Achiever
Yes that's right, I said it. I am officially an over achiever! I may have taken pride in thinking I was one before, and really, I do try to go above the average in whatever I do, but when your doctor says that you are an over achiever it has to be true! It was said in reference to how many eggs I had during the egg retrieval, 19! What does that mean now? Well, those 19 eggs had turning into 15 embryos (with the help of ICSI). The doc froze 5 so that we have them on reserve and he is watching the other 10 to see how they develop. He will pick the best two embryos and we will implant them after a five day culture.
As for me...the surgery was not what I expected at all. I think I was so worried about the anesthesia (because I have never gone under before) and I wasn't thinking about the part that they were cutting eggs out of me. And since we had such a great number of eggs that just increases the pain. I stayed at home with the hubby and he now thinks he is a doctor (he even put on the mask and everything when he has to give me my shot in my gluteus maximus). On the second day I thought I would be able to go to work, but no such luck. With the series of medication, that of course makes me soooo nauseous, and the pain I had to call on no other than my mama. She was the nurse for the day and probably was a little better than Paul since she would watch chick flicks with me and not complain. But day three was back to work, which probably is not the best idea but we have to get back to real life. I would definitely suggest that anyone going through this just go ahead and take off the week. I couldn't make it through a full day of work because of vomiting. I headed home to rest and called the doctor. He thinks because of producing so many eggs that I have ovary hyper stimulation. What that means is that they may be too big and we may have to put of the embryo transfer. We really don't want to put things off so we are hoping with a little rest we can go through with everything as planned. But no matter what we go through it is amazing to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like we are getting so close to having a child.
As for me...the surgery was not what I expected at all. I think I was so worried about the anesthesia (because I have never gone under before) and I wasn't thinking about the part that they were cutting eggs out of me. And since we had such a great number of eggs that just increases the pain. I stayed at home with the hubby and he now thinks he is a doctor (he even put on the mask and everything when he has to give me my shot in my gluteus maximus). On the second day I thought I would be able to go to work, but no such luck. With the series of medication, that of course makes me soooo nauseous, and the pain I had to call on no other than my mama. She was the nurse for the day and probably was a little better than Paul since she would watch chick flicks with me and not complain. But day three was back to work, which probably is not the best idea but we have to get back to real life. I would definitely suggest that anyone going through this just go ahead and take off the week. I couldn't make it through a full day of work because of vomiting. I headed home to rest and called the doctor. He thinks because of producing so many eggs that I have ovary hyper stimulation. What that means is that they may be too big and we may have to put of the embryo transfer. We really don't want to put things off so we are hoping with a little rest we can go through with everything as planned. But no matter what we go through it is amazing to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like we are getting so close to having a child.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Black Eyed Peas and Stewed Tomatoes...
Out with the old and in with the new! Insert obligatory new years post here (as well as a new years resolution). I think it goes with out saying what we want to have happen in 2011 so no need to expand upon it.
Reflecting back upon 2010, I can say that I am more than ready for 2011 to start. But remembering everything, I would never replace the time we had with our foster children. And then at the end of 2010 we hopped back on the wagon of fertility treatments. What makes this experience different in the coming year? We "came out of the closet" so to speak. We have pretty much told the world our story, so we have a ton of support and prayer this time around. So, will 2011 be our year? Who knows??? But we sure as hell are trying to make it that way. If for some reason things do not turn out the way we have planned then we know we can make it through anything, we learned that from good ol' 2010.
On a side note: I am glad that December 31st is over before I killed someone at Aetna! They did not ship me the two biggest medications. I was supposed to start shots of Follistim and Menopur Saturday night but it is kind of hard to do if they never gave it to me. With it being a holiday weekend I could not get in touch with anyone competent enough to get it to me. Luckily, my doctor was in the office for another patient so they gave me samples of Follistim to get me through the weekend. Since they did not have the Menopur I doubled my dosage of the Follistim and am praying that everything still goes as planned. Hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow to get the meds shipped to me asap. I will go to the doctor on Wednesday for an ultrasound to see if I have any follicles produced yet.
Reflecting back upon 2010, I can say that I am more than ready for 2011 to start. But remembering everything, I would never replace the time we had with our foster children. And then at the end of 2010 we hopped back on the wagon of fertility treatments. What makes this experience different in the coming year? We "came out of the closet" so to speak. We have pretty much told the world our story, so we have a ton of support and prayer this time around. So, will 2011 be our year? Who knows??? But we sure as hell are trying to make it that way. If for some reason things do not turn out the way we have planned then we know we can make it through anything, we learned that from good ol' 2010.
On a side note: I am glad that December 31st is over before I killed someone at Aetna! They did not ship me the two biggest medications. I was supposed to start shots of Follistim and Menopur Saturday night but it is kind of hard to do if they never gave it to me. With it being a holiday weekend I could not get in touch with anyone competent enough to get it to me. Luckily, my doctor was in the office for another patient so they gave me samples of Follistim to get me through the weekend. Since they did not have the Menopur I doubled my dosage of the Follistim and am praying that everything still goes as planned. Hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow to get the meds shipped to me asap. I will go to the doctor on Wednesday for an ultrasound to see if I have any follicles produced yet.
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