So, anyone who knows me would probably tell you that I know way too much about how to conceive. Between all of our personal trials and doctor's visits I have done plenty of research and reading that I could tell just about anyone how to get pregnant. So, when we finally got the news that we were actually pregnant I was dumbfounded by the little bit of knowledge I had about pregnancy. Luckily, there are plenty of websites and books that I now probably know more than the average person should know about pregnancy too. Luckily, my knew obsession will only last nine months so I have a limited period of time to obsess over every little detail. :) The humorous thing I am finding is that it seems like so many women obsess over pregnancy and little about the aftermath...A BABY! Are we really prepared for everything that comes along after pregnancy is over with?
Fortunately, my husband and I had a crash course in parenting when we did foster care. We have experience under our belt, right? After all, we only had about four hours notice when we brought two children into our home. So, off with my mother I went to Target to buy everything we needed for an infant and a toddler. And we SURVIVED! Yet, when we have nine months to prepare it seems like it is just not enough time to get everything in order. I know we will survive, hopefully, not doing to much damage to our children in the process. :)
I do have to sit back and look at how unprepared people are throughout this stage of life though.
One: Why don't people talk about their future plans before they actually start a family? A few simple questions answered from your partner and it would make this whole family planning process easier. How many kids do each one of you want to have? What if you can't have kids? How will you discipline your children? Will both of you work or one stay at home? Sure, life never goes as planned, but when choosing a life partner it makes it a lot easier if you have a peak at what your spouse sees as an ideal family before you go and get knocked up! Luckily, my husband and I have talked about these issues since we were about seventeen (odd, I know, but we were prepared for everything life threw our way).
Two: When you have kids it is your job to keep them safe. This means it is your responsibility to do everything in your power to make sure they don't get hurt. By all means I am not aiming this at the "all time obsessive parent" who cries when their kid scrapes their knee. These things will happen! But you should know how to install a car seat for heaven's sake! If you don't know how to then you should find someone who is certified to do it for you. Just check out this site...it will be enough to scare you! http://www.parenting.com/blogs/show-and-tell/kate-parentingcom/rear-facing-car-seat-safety Okay, so don't read the article, but know that children under 2 are 75% less likely to die or be severely injured in a crash if they are facing the rear. Please, do not put your infant in the front seat because it is easier for you to watch them. If they cry in the back seat, although this may be annoying, at least you know they are breathing! Also, do your homework on your babysitter. You never know what can happen when you are not around. Do a background check. Having someone neglect or abuse my child is just a risk I am not willing to take. By the way, if one of your parents is willing to watch your child (generally speaking) you have to think that they raised the two of you so I am sure that they will do a better job than the girl down the street who has never had a child before. And just because someone on nanny.com claims to have 27 years experience doesn't mean she actually does. Do the math, that would make her 5 when her "experience" began!
On a lighter note...Paul and I have started our baby prep classes...
A couple of weeks ago we attended a three hour breastfeeding class. When we were leaving Paul told me that he almost snickered at the beginning of class. Was he kidding me? So did I! I wasn't mentally prepared for the slideshow of boobies. I didn't realize there were so many different shapes, sizes and colors of boobs. You just kind of assume everyone's boobs look like yours. Apparently, this is not the case. But I was proud of my hubby for staying awake through the long class and now hopefully we will have some idea of what we are doing when it comes to the whole feeding situation.
Last night we did the hospital tour of the maternity ward. I have to admit I almost started crying when we went up to the nursery. I couldn't explain it, I guess it is just hard to believe that we are walking around with all these other pregnant women and will be in that same place from a few months from now with our own little miracles. But no, it isn't all that sweet and simple. One poor mom-to-be fell and almost fainted while we were in the labor and delivery room. It was rather hot in there so it really could have been any one of us knocked up women. When all the commotion was going on before we realized what was really happening I leaned over to Paul and told him we didn't realize we got to see a live delivery on our tour! :) The poor prego was so embarrassed. It did reiterate to me what a great husband I have. He was ready to jump over the other people to lend a helping hand (as if someone from the hospital staff would not have been more prepared to handle the situation). When we were in the car he told me that her husband barely caught her that the woman giving the tour did and he should have been rubbing her shoulders or something to make her feel better. Ha! Love him!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
FINALLY!
We are FINALLY PREGNANT!!!
It is still hard to believe it even though we are 17 weeks at this point. I think we took about seven pregnancy tests (just to make sure we still were every morning). After we had taken all the at home tests (and seen all those little + signs), I was scheduled to take a blood test to find out officially from the doctor. Waiting for the phone call was antagonizing! But finally the news that we were officially pregnant! Then I had to go back two days later to make sure my HCG levels had doubled and it was a viable pregnancy. So, two days later back to LabCorp I went and had more blood drawn and waited one more day to find out that indeed everything was good. A relief to some degree but then we made an appointment for and ultrasound at six weeks. Waiting for that appointment seemed like an eternity. We woke up Valentine's day morning excited for our first pictures of our little one. I went to get in the shower to get ready and I was bleeding. Of course I was then in hysterics as Paul was trying to calm me down. Luckily we had a morning appointment and Paul called to let them know we would be there as soon as they opened and needed to be seen immediately. They took us right back and we did the ultrasound. My bleeding was the cause of a uteran blood clot. A relief that I wasn't miscarrying but then I was left wondering what exactly that meant. Then the other news "it is twins"! I think we were awe-struck but I was still in a state of worry. The ultrasound was over and we were supposed to meet the doctor in his office to talk everything over. I hopped of the table, got dressed and opened the door ready to run down the hallway. Then Paul told me to hold on as he was getting himself together. I took one look at my husband with tears running down his face and realized I didn't even let us have that excited moment. Up to this point of trying to conceive I was so stressed and I thought that feeling would have ended the moment we found out we were pregnant. But at my level of stress I not only didn't let it all set in for myself but was taking it away from my husband too. Needless to say, we got ourselves together and walked into the office. Apparently, the blood clot was a fairly normal thing but I had to have another ultrasound in two weeks to make sure that everything was okay. So, letting it sink in, we walked out of the office and called our parents with the news that we were not only pregnant but having TWINS!
Two weeks later I went for another ultrasound. Everything looked good and I was being released from our specialist to see an OBGYN. It felt weird having to see a new doctor when we have been working with the same one four four years. But happily I walked down to my new OBGYN's office and made my first appointment.
So four ultrasounds into it, a new doctor and belly getting bigger I can officially say we are feeling comfortable with the fact that it is finally our time to start our family. We have our to-do list in order and are counting down the weeks until they are here!
It is still hard to believe it even though we are 17 weeks at this point. I think we took about seven pregnancy tests (just to make sure we still were every morning). After we had taken all the at home tests (and seen all those little + signs), I was scheduled to take a blood test to find out officially from the doctor. Waiting for the phone call was antagonizing! But finally the news that we were officially pregnant! Then I had to go back two days later to make sure my HCG levels had doubled and it was a viable pregnancy. So, two days later back to LabCorp I went and had more blood drawn and waited one more day to find out that indeed everything was good. A relief to some degree but then we made an appointment for and ultrasound at six weeks. Waiting for that appointment seemed like an eternity. We woke up Valentine's day morning excited for our first pictures of our little one. I went to get in the shower to get ready and I was bleeding. Of course I was then in hysterics as Paul was trying to calm me down. Luckily we had a morning appointment and Paul called to let them know we would be there as soon as they opened and needed to be seen immediately. They took us right back and we did the ultrasound. My bleeding was the cause of a uteran blood clot. A relief that I wasn't miscarrying but then I was left wondering what exactly that meant. Then the other news "it is twins"! I think we were awe-struck but I was still in a state of worry. The ultrasound was over and we were supposed to meet the doctor in his office to talk everything over. I hopped of the table, got dressed and opened the door ready to run down the hallway. Then Paul told me to hold on as he was getting himself together. I took one look at my husband with tears running down his face and realized I didn't even let us have that excited moment. Up to this point of trying to conceive I was so stressed and I thought that feeling would have ended the moment we found out we were pregnant. But at my level of stress I not only didn't let it all set in for myself but was taking it away from my husband too. Needless to say, we got ourselves together and walked into the office. Apparently, the blood clot was a fairly normal thing but I had to have another ultrasound in two weeks to make sure that everything was okay. So, letting it sink in, we walked out of the office and called our parents with the news that we were not only pregnant but having TWINS!
Two weeks later I went for another ultrasound. Everything looked good and I was being released from our specialist to see an OBGYN. It felt weird having to see a new doctor when we have been working with the same one four four years. But happily I walked down to my new OBGYN's office and made my first appointment.
So four ultrasounds into it, a new doctor and belly getting bigger I can officially say we are feeling comfortable with the fact that it is finally our time to start our family. We have our to-do list in order and are counting down the weeks until they are here!
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| 17 WEEKS |
Monday, January 24, 2011
Clearblue, EASY?
This whole process is anything but easy! With all the ups and downs of thinking we are going to have a baby, to disappointment, and everything in between, I think this waiting process is one of the hardest parts. I have driven myself crazy thinking any symptom could be a sign (but unfortunately most signs of pregnancy can also be a sign that you are about to start your period). Admittedly, I have taken a couple of home pregnancy tests but you can not trust the results when you have done fertility treatments. So we are waiting a few more days for the beta blood test to find out the real results. I am somewhat of a traditionalist, so I am not going to be blogging for a while. I will be journaling along the way so I can still post every part of the process (just at a later date) but I am battling at letting the world know we are pregnant so soon. But for now...so long...I will be back soon!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
TransferrING
We did the embryo transfer! I don't think you can really prepare for this experience but in the grand scheme of things maybe it is good not to really know what to expect. I definately have no modisty at this point (after having complete stangers seeing you naked and peeing in a bed pan infront of my mother)!
Paul had to work the day of the appointment so my mom took me to the IVF clinic. I am sad that he was not there for the experience but I am grateful that my mom was there for the whole process. I felt pretty good going in that morning and took a Valium about an hour before the procedure as well as making sure I had a full bladder. The doctor came in and talked to us and told us everything to expect and gave us a picture of the two blastocysts that he was going to implant. The doctor implants them with a catheter guided by an ultrasound, so we got to see everything! They brought in the blastocysts in an incubator and my mom got to see them through a microscope. They do one test with the catheter before they actually insert them. Once they put the catheter into the uterus you can see the blastocysts come out of the catheter. It is amazing. Now we have pictures of the actual beginning, way before most couples (we have to look to the bright side since everything else is easier for those not havign to go through IF...not to be bitter or anything). So now we are just waiting. I will go in for a blood test to see if they have taken and survived. It will be the longest ten days of my life!
I think we are transferring our thoughts from this being a dream to thinking this could actually be real. We don't want to give our hopes up, but it is hard not to have names running through our heads and think about how we want to decorate the nursery. Not that I haven't thought of all of that before, but it seems like that reality is closer than ever. I hope that this is the key step to transferring our dreams to reality!
Paul had to work the day of the appointment so my mom took me to the IVF clinic. I am sad that he was not there for the experience but I am grateful that my mom was there for the whole process. I felt pretty good going in that morning and took a Valium about an hour before the procedure as well as making sure I had a full bladder. The doctor came in and talked to us and told us everything to expect and gave us a picture of the two blastocysts that he was going to implant. The doctor implants them with a catheter guided by an ultrasound, so we got to see everything! They brought in the blastocysts in an incubator and my mom got to see them through a microscope. They do one test with the catheter before they actually insert them. Once they put the catheter into the uterus you can see the blastocysts come out of the catheter. It is amazing. Now we have pictures of the actual beginning, way before most couples (we have to look to the bright side since everything else is easier for those not havign to go through IF...not to be bitter or anything). So now we are just waiting. I will go in for a blood test to see if they have taken and survived. It will be the longest ten days of my life!
I think we are transferring our thoughts from this being a dream to thinking this could actually be real. We don't want to give our hopes up, but it is hard not to have names running through our heads and think about how we want to decorate the nursery. Not that I haven't thought of all of that before, but it seems like that reality is closer than ever. I hope that this is the key step to transferring our dreams to reality!
It is the tiny little white dot in the middle of my uterus. The white line is the catheter.
Blastocyst is the cell mass that turn into embryos...basically they are "pre-embryos".
These are the two they transferred.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Over Achiever
Yes that's right, I said it. I am officially an over achiever! I may have taken pride in thinking I was one before, and really, I do try to go above the average in whatever I do, but when your doctor says that you are an over achiever it has to be true! It was said in reference to how many eggs I had during the egg retrieval, 19! What does that mean now? Well, those 19 eggs had turning into 15 embryos (with the help of ICSI). The doc froze 5 so that we have them on reserve and he is watching the other 10 to see how they develop. He will pick the best two embryos and we will implant them after a five day culture.
As for me...the surgery was not what I expected at all. I think I was so worried about the anesthesia (because I have never gone under before) and I wasn't thinking about the part that they were cutting eggs out of me. And since we had such a great number of eggs that just increases the pain. I stayed at home with the hubby and he now thinks he is a doctor (he even put on the mask and everything when he has to give me my shot in my gluteus maximus). On the second day I thought I would be able to go to work, but no such luck. With the series of medication, that of course makes me soooo nauseous, and the pain I had to call on no other than my mama. She was the nurse for the day and probably was a little better than Paul since she would watch chick flicks with me and not complain. But day three was back to work, which probably is not the best idea but we have to get back to real life. I would definitely suggest that anyone going through this just go ahead and take off the week. I couldn't make it through a full day of work because of vomiting. I headed home to rest and called the doctor. He thinks because of producing so many eggs that I have ovary hyper stimulation. What that means is that they may be too big and we may have to put of the embryo transfer. We really don't want to put things off so we are hoping with a little rest we can go through with everything as planned. But no matter what we go through it is amazing to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like we are getting so close to having a child.
As for me...the surgery was not what I expected at all. I think I was so worried about the anesthesia (because I have never gone under before) and I wasn't thinking about the part that they were cutting eggs out of me. And since we had such a great number of eggs that just increases the pain. I stayed at home with the hubby and he now thinks he is a doctor (he even put on the mask and everything when he has to give me my shot in my gluteus maximus). On the second day I thought I would be able to go to work, but no such luck. With the series of medication, that of course makes me soooo nauseous, and the pain I had to call on no other than my mama. She was the nurse for the day and probably was a little better than Paul since she would watch chick flicks with me and not complain. But day three was back to work, which probably is not the best idea but we have to get back to real life. I would definitely suggest that anyone going through this just go ahead and take off the week. I couldn't make it through a full day of work because of vomiting. I headed home to rest and called the doctor. He thinks because of producing so many eggs that I have ovary hyper stimulation. What that means is that they may be too big and we may have to put of the embryo transfer. We really don't want to put things off so we are hoping with a little rest we can go through with everything as planned. But no matter what we go through it is amazing to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel like we are getting so close to having a child.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Black Eyed Peas and Stewed Tomatoes...
Out with the old and in with the new! Insert obligatory new years post here (as well as a new years resolution). I think it goes with out saying what we want to have happen in 2011 so no need to expand upon it.
Reflecting back upon 2010, I can say that I am more than ready for 2011 to start. But remembering everything, I would never replace the time we had with our foster children. And then at the end of 2010 we hopped back on the wagon of fertility treatments. What makes this experience different in the coming year? We "came out of the closet" so to speak. We have pretty much told the world our story, so we have a ton of support and prayer this time around. So, will 2011 be our year? Who knows??? But we sure as hell are trying to make it that way. If for some reason things do not turn out the way we have planned then we know we can make it through anything, we learned that from good ol' 2010.
On a side note: I am glad that December 31st is over before I killed someone at Aetna! They did not ship me the two biggest medications. I was supposed to start shots of Follistim and Menopur Saturday night but it is kind of hard to do if they never gave it to me. With it being a holiday weekend I could not get in touch with anyone competent enough to get it to me. Luckily, my doctor was in the office for another patient so they gave me samples of Follistim to get me through the weekend. Since they did not have the Menopur I doubled my dosage of the Follistim and am praying that everything still goes as planned. Hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow to get the meds shipped to me asap. I will go to the doctor on Wednesday for an ultrasound to see if I have any follicles produced yet.
Reflecting back upon 2010, I can say that I am more than ready for 2011 to start. But remembering everything, I would never replace the time we had with our foster children. And then at the end of 2010 we hopped back on the wagon of fertility treatments. What makes this experience different in the coming year? We "came out of the closet" so to speak. We have pretty much told the world our story, so we have a ton of support and prayer this time around. So, will 2011 be our year? Who knows??? But we sure as hell are trying to make it that way. If for some reason things do not turn out the way we have planned then we know we can make it through anything, we learned that from good ol' 2010.
On a side note: I am glad that December 31st is over before I killed someone at Aetna! They did not ship me the two biggest medications. I was supposed to start shots of Follistim and Menopur Saturday night but it is kind of hard to do if they never gave it to me. With it being a holiday weekend I could not get in touch with anyone competent enough to get it to me. Luckily, my doctor was in the office for another patient so they gave me samples of Follistim to get me through the weekend. Since they did not have the Menopur I doubled my dosage of the Follistim and am praying that everything still goes as planned. Hopefully I can talk to someone tomorrow to get the meds shipped to me asap. I will go to the doctor on Wednesday for an ultrasound to see if I have any follicles produced yet.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Next Step on Our Path
We went to the doctor yesterday for and ultrasound and to update us on what is next on our path. Everything looked good with the ultrasound (and I don't care how many times I go to the doctor it is always weird to look at your ovaries). He measured my uterus, which didn't feel amazing, but apparently looked perfect. Paul and I both had to have blood tests for HIV and hepatitis. After all that we got the next green light. We have ordered ALL the medications (10 to be exact). The shots alone where over $1,400. I will get the shots via mail tomorrow and will start them January 1st!
Very exciting start to the new year!
Very exciting start to the new year!
Well, I am excited and nervous all rolled into one emotion.
Again, I just have to say I have the best friends and family in the world! I am so grateful for all of them!
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